Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
