come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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