a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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