Tell her she can't have a vagina
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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