fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
