I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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