babies were throwing up all over the place
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
