She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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