Duck Duck Cougar?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
