You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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