Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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