there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
