Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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