What did we do last night that was yellow?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
