OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
