i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Welp...herpes.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
