It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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