I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The convent might be a nice break from real life
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
