never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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