If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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