I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Randomize
