the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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