Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
