My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
