She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
everyone is single if you try hard enough
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize