I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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