So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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