he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
