After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Dear god my vagina.
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