remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
