i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
