you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
