From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
