Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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