he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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