my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize