Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
