I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
