Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
