wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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