Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
