She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
