If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
