I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
