I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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