Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize