i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
