I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
