I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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