Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize