while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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