Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
