I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
