just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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