Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
