I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
