I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
