I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Everclear isn't food dammit
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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