Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
