Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
you traded sex for a burrito?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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