I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My feet surprised me
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
