a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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