You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
